The Willem

Repentant Thoughts

// October 4th, 2009 // No Comments » // Life, Prayer, Reflection, Strongholds

I’m noticing some trends that I haven’t yet been able to shake. I don’t like them, God doesn’t like them, and I have a feeling if anyone were to actually feel comfortable confronting me about them, I would quickly find out that they don’t like them.

I’ve been very short-tempered lately, especially with one person in the house. I seem to be looking for faults to call pet-peeves, looking for opportunities to criticize and harass, and looking for specks in this person’s eye, while I clearly have a log the size of the Florida panhandle in my own.

I’m also feeling lonely. I’m surrounded by people I think I actually enjoy, working in ministry and living in a house and supporting each other in two different schools, but I feel completely alone. I have God with me, and I know I need to be looking there for comfort, but I feel anxious. I think this stems from my unwillingness to give up my desire for marriage and to find my mate for life. I had been thinking about that for a few months before coming here, and now that I’m strictly forbidden from dating (which is a policy I fully understand and support) I’m feeling forlorn; like it’s so much further away than I want it to be.

I’m also not doing very well in school (SAGU). I’m not organized or adhering to the organization that I did set out for myself, so I fell behind and have been trying to play catch up, but all my classes suffered because of it. I’ve taken three tests in three different classes so far and did well on one, barely passed another, and I feel like I did horribly on the third. I’m trying to get caught up and organized this week, so hopefully I’ll be feeling secure soon.

I guess that’s all for now. I’m going to go hide in my room to repent, read, pray, and cry myself to sleep.

My Whole Heart

// September 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Perspectives, Reflection, Strongholds

God’s been stretching me a lot lately. One of the major areas is to trust in Him for everything.

We often talk about being made strong in our weaknesses by giving God the opportunity to work through us, but what about becoming stronger in our strengths? So frequently, we pridefully believe that we can do something without God’s blessing or assistance because it falls into one of our so-called strengths. I want to challenge that pride. To arrogantly proceed without seeking God is sin, and we do so every day.

When I came to Mexico, I considered verbal communication to be my biggest strength and gifting (both on a preaching and a relational level). While I have the opportunity to speak in English with my team members and to build them up and encourage them, I can rarely communicate while doing ministry. This is an area of growth for me, as I’m learning that even my biggest strength can be as nothing to simply showing God’s love. Honestly, I can’t even hold a full conversation with an eight year old kid, so I’m learning to allow God to work through me more freely.

The thought I really am trying to convey here is that God deserves your whole heart, rather than just the parts you think you can’t manage on your own. Give up your weaknesses, give up your strengths, watch Him create something wholly new. It’ll blow your socks off.

Battle Plan

// August 30th, 2008 // No Comments » // I just started writing and..., Prayer, Songs, Strongholds

By Willem Jongejan and Jared Wakefield

Written 7/10/08, Revised 8/16/08

V1: These strongholds/

Are invading my heart.

The devil’s/

Been tearin’ me apart.

PC: But (now) I know/ (now is second time)

That I’ve got a way.

To fight back/

To keep him at bay.

C: I’ll repent of the sin I’ve been livin’.

I’ll rebuke all the lies I’ve been given.

I’ll replace ‘em with Your truth from above.

And I will receive your eternal love.

V2: The devil’s/

Been tryin’ again.

To tempt me/

And trap me in sin.

PC

C

I’ll repent.

I’ll rebuke him.

I’ll replace.

I’ll receive love from You.

This is my battle plan.